I love Valentine’s Day. There, I’ve admitted it.
Maybe I should rephrase that: I love the spirit of Valentine’s Day.
Growing up, every year before Valentine’s Day we made mail boxes in which to receive the many valentines that we expected from our friends. Ashley Wilson (now Foster) one year made a mail box in the shape of a Cat. I was so jealous; I thought I would never be as creative as that. I've learned since, that I’m just not as meticulous as that ;)
Along with the mail boxes, sometimes I’d go over to Lisa Wilson's house for the Valentine’s Day tea' that Lynn Wilson would put on. Well all got to bring our favorite stuffed animal, it was a lot of fun.
I also love flowers, and I love chocolate.
My daddy (who was my valentine before I had a boyfriend) would usually get me a card and chocolate. Not that Valentine’s Day was the only day he would smother us girls with affection, my father is incredibly good at confirming to me even still that I am precious to him.
However...
Brian does not like Valentine’s Day.
We've celebrated it a couple times, under the ruse that it fell dangerously close to our six months of dating mark, and I finally explained to him last year that we need to at least be together on Valentine’s Day, or I get made fun of by anyone who finds out that we're not hanging out.
But let me interrupt myself here to clarify something:
Brian doesn’t hate Valentine’s Day because he doesn’t like being romantic. Brian is very romantic, he has planned and executed enough incredible dates and spontaneous kisses in the rain to make ANY girl weak at the knees, I just happen to be the lucky girl that he fell in love with and towards whom he gets to aim all of his romance. No, Brian doesn’t hate it because he doesn’t know what to do, he hates it because he's expected to be romantic on that day (not by me, mind you).
Admittedly, there is a significant pressure for men to perform on that day of the year. Most women expect something from their "valentine" on February 14th. Chocolates... roses... wine... dates...jewelry... whatever the thing is. Any man caught at home without flowers is dead meat.
And, I guess if I’m honest, THAT part of Valentine’s Day I’m not really super stoked about. Truthfully, spontaneous flowers are WAY better than valentines flowers (and way cheaper too).
I like valentine’s day because it is actually pretty fun to create handmade valentines for the people I love, and exchange candy in cat shaped mail boxes, and go to valentines teas with my favorite stuffed animal in tow, and spend time with the man I love, and think about the past 4 years of being with him and reminisce on our love, and how much I love him now. I don’t think there's anything wrong with a holiday dedicated to the celebration of love.
So, how does a girl who loves Valentine’s Day get along with a man who doesnt... on February 14th?
Well the first couple years of being with Brian, I was a little shocked that he didn’t do anything for me for Valentine’s Day, not even a card. And to make matters worse, after we started dating, my dad bowed out as my valentine...
So I pouted a little bit. Sometimes it’s a little sad not to feel any love on Valentine’s Day! (Especially the heart shaped sweet kind).
These last two years have been different though... I began to figure it out last year... if I wanted to do something for Valentine’s Day, than it was up to me to do something! So I did. Last year, Brian and I ate dinner in the dorms at Multnomah and watched Braveheart for Valentine’s Day. Well, Brian watched Braveheart... I spent a good majority of the movie with my head in his shoulder because I’m the sensitive type I guess... not to mention that the emotional switch between love scenes and battle scenes in that movie is a tough one...
This year I took it a little further. :D
We didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t expecting anything from Brian, but I was still a little sad that we weren’t doing ANYTHING. My boss at work had been talking for weeks about how she was going to surprise her husband with a return trip to Las Vegas for Valentine’s Day and that got me thinking...
Valentine’s Day isn’t about what men do for women, it’s about love. And I love my husband, and I love Valentine ’s Day, so if I want to show him that in celebration of this day, than I’m gonna, by golly!
So I started scheming. I cut up a bunch of red pieces of paper, and wrote clues on them, and put them in envelopes and made a sort of scavenger hunt for him. When he came home, there was an envelope with his name on it (complete with a heart over the 'I') taped to the front door, and where to find the next clue which eventually led him to me... we went and got Burritos and dessert (because we're poor and because burritos are Brian’s favorite food) and just spend the evening together. It was fun to go on a date, and it was even MORE fun that he didn’t see it coming; the whole plan went off without a hitch. :D
I guess my perspective on Valentine’s Day has changed this year. It’s not about me; it’s not about flowers and candy. It’s about love. And the loving thing to do toward Brian is to not expect anything of him on February 14th.
So Brian, when you read this, I want you to know that you don’t ever have to do anything for me on Valentine’s Day (other than hang out with me, so I don’t get made fun of). I’m okay with you loving me daily, and romancing me whenever YOU want to. But you should also know, that I LOVE Valentine’s Day, so I might buy YOU flowers sometime...
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