Shelli Emerson Foth

Brokenness.

The word i would use if i were to choose a theme for this Christmas.

The last two days have made me acutely aware of the brokenness around me. People who are standing in the ashes of lives that they though were so sturdy. People who lost children, and family members in senseless shootings. Those who think they have it all together but need you so badly. Those who have been to war and came back a different person.

My heart is heavy this Christmas season. My lack of faith in humanity leads me straight to the throne of Christ in tears, and as he holds me he says to me, as he so often does when i mourn "I never intended for it to be this way. This was not my plan. Mourn, and feel the depths of suffering in this situation, and more than that mourn that this isn't how its supposed to be, mourn the garden, mourn the curse, but take heart because one day i will make it all new."

For some reason, its always reassuring. If i think i hate the situation, God hates it more. He never wanted it either.

Enter Jesus. Born in a barn, sent to save the world in a totally unorthodox manner. For "Long lay the world, in sin and error pining till he appeared and the soul felt its worth." for me its "A Thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn." Never have those words been so poignant as this year.

I have a different perspective on christmas this year. Its a sense of relief. I stand and look at the brokenness around me and i am so relieved that Jesus was born, and have such a sense of thankfulness like never before. Im not just totally shit out of luck on this whole sin thing, and nether is anyone else. Im so relieved. Thank you so much, Jesus.

Out of the depths of sorrow comes a deep sense of joy that the savior was born. A juxtaposition that i will never understand, but am eternally grateful for.

O Holy Night
The Lights are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.

Long lay the world
in sin and error pining
til you appeared
and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope,
a weary world rejoices
for yonder breaks
a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees

O hear the angel's voices

O night Divine

O night when Christ was born

Thats how i've felt for the least 2.5 months since i started school. Im not taking particularly intellectual classes. Im in photography classes, how is that intellectual? Its not really, but there is something about walking down the halls of learning (does that metaphor apply when you go to community college?) that makes you think more.

For the last year, its been work work work. My job is fine. I've had jobs I've hated more, thats for sure, and looking back it hasn't been bad. We have needed the last two years to get up on our feet and have a go at this whole adult thing. Now here we are. Living in a gorgeous little house, we both have really good jobs, and things are going well. You could say we've 'nested.' The thing about working all the time however, is that once you get good at your job, you dont think about it anymore. You dont have to think about it anymore, you stop learning and it just becomes a job. Its easy to just stop learning, to stop pushing yourself when you're not in an environment where you have to.

School is that environment. Especially in a field as competitive as photography. Now, its learn learn learn, grow, grow, grow. Muscles that havent been used in a long time are stretching and hurting and sore, but the good kind of sore. The kind of sore that whenever you feel the muscles hurting you think "Yeah, i totally climbed a 4 at the bouldering gym yesterday, im awesome."In the last 8 weeks of school ive seen my photography improve in leaps and bounds. Im finally in my element im finally where i want to be.

Now, its time to fly. Ive always been firm on the idea that just because i got married young doesn't mean my life is over. It feels as if the last two years have been all working towards this season. Brian finishing school, me getting a job where i work with people (what!?) and kicking ass at said job (WHAT!?) and gaining so much confidence in myself that headed in to this first term at school, i never once doubted whether or not i would make it back for winter term. Im not gonna lie, im totally that kid. Being at the top of the class is a pretty great feeling. My life isnt over. I can DO what i love and BE with the person i love. A huge shout out to Brian on this one. Without him i would never have gotten here. His support and firm belief that i should do what i love has been the wind at my back.

I had a moment the first week of school, where i thought "Okay, this is it. Its really time to go big or go home. You're here. Its time to dive it head first to this whole photography thing or get out now." What a strange thought for someone who has a super hard time going "All in" about anything (Thanks, Dad). So i did. All in for me means not just coasting. It means getting A's in school. I can pretty much do nothing and get a B, for me putting in the extra work to get an A is going all in. Its never skipping a class just for the hell of it. Its really putting my heart and soul into my projects. Its asking my instructors for more feedback because all i ever get is "Good Job." (Like i said, im totally that kid).

Its struggling with things and thinking through things its making connections with other photographers in my class its putting myself out there, its showing my art to other people, opening myself up to critique. Its stretching. Its wonderful.

So here's to photography, to thought, to friends with degrees in philosophy and rhetoric, to friends with quirky styles, to husbands who support no matter what, and to finally being where i want to be.

And above all, praise the Lord, for his immeasurable blessing in my life. I pray that as i navigate a beautiful secular world that my life will reflect his.

I had the privilege of shooting this lovely family back in august. They were kind enough to let me live with them for a summer a few years back, so it was super super fun to see the kids and hang out with them again. I can truly say i've never seen a more beautiful family.

Let me just start this off by saying that i love worship. Its always my favorite part of services at church, that being said, some of the Christian music out these days is awful.

I spent a good majority of yesterday listening to christian music on Pandora and im pretty sure every other song was by Chris Tomlin. Im pretty sure he wrote and repeated about 10 lines about 6 times in the course of 3 minutes. I was about ready to pull my hair out. Thankfully, one can 'dislike' Chris Tomlin on Pandora and it will never play one of his songs again. Not so with the christian stations in the area. As my dad put it one time after listening to the radio at work all day: "I feel like the played the same five songs over and over by different people!"

Aside from the repetitiveness of the music stations and the songs themselves, i think its a bit of a shame that the silly choruses that are playing have no real spiritual value to them (in my opinion). Its almost as if they're meant to illicit and emotional, 'spiritual' experience of 'worship'. Maybe we need to reexamine what 'worship' really means.

Brian one time said something to the effect of "I think that people learn a lot of their theology from the songs that they sing at church and those on the radio, but they dont have any 'meat' in them"

I think that is so true. How did we all learn the alphabet? A song. how did we memorize verses growing up? songs. Heck, some of us even learned how to clean our rooms from a song. If the most basic skills in life are learned through song, shouldn't it then follow that the basics of the christian life are learned largely through song? Whether we mean for them to or not. If most of us are honest, we learn more from the songs we sing at church than from what the pastor says, or even what we read in the bible. We commit to memory songs much more easily that scripture itself.

Songs teach, whether we like it or not.



I just feel as if christian song writers should take a little more care in what they're writing and releasing to their fans. I know that for a lot of artists their songs are "expressions of the self" and of their own relationship with God but in a lot of ways they're teaching the Christian masses what a relationship with Christ looks like, and it seems to me that what they're teaching is that relationship with Christ is an emotional experience. Chris Tomlin, MercyMe, and all those hugely popular christian artists are the Pastors of the modern Christian and its as if they're preaching that God is Holy and "He thought of me, above all" over and over and over and over and over and over...

Granted, im coming from a place where the rawness of the gospel excites me and the gravity of Christ's sacrifice isnt something to write a little chorus about. But i truly believe that sometimes we're listening to someones "self expression" as if it were how everyone should feel about God. Im fine if someone wants to express them self but maybe they should express them self with a little more depth, as harsh as that sounds.

PS. Apologies to anyone who's favorite artist is Christ Tomlin, he's the just the easiest to make fun of ;)

This is Kaleb and Elisabeth.

I drove up to Trout Lake, WA for this shoot. Its where they met, and coincidentally where my husband and i also met. It was a little nostalgic for everyone. It was a fun shoot. They're a great couple. Im super stoked to shoot their wedding in November, this is just the beginning!

Im not dead. at least not physically. Although, in the recent months since the wedding i've felt particularly brain dead, maybe because the wedding just took it out of me, maybe because i work a somewhat mindless job, and its almost as if my brain never turns on in the morning. Whatever the case, the thoughts and insights and epiphanies are making a come back, and with them my photography muse. Here's what i've been up to:


I had the opportunity to shoot Hannah Augee and Mike Wilson's engagement shots, twice actually. Hannah is a good friend of mine and i wanted something to do, so here's what emerged. They were great to shoot. And Mike always had a particularly good attitude about the kissing shots.


These three shots are from the first shoot. Unfortunately, that was before i got my new Canon EOS 50D, and was still shooting with an Digital Rebel XTi with a broken focusing mechanism. They're beautiful photographs taken on my parents property, but they're a little blurry. which frustrates me. Thank you Jesus for a new and better camera!








These next ones are from the second shoot. Taken at Mt Talbert.










There is more coming up, i've been fairly active lately. so stay tuned...